The Agent Podcast - EP83 - Jordan Tarver - Creating Yourself
[00:00:00] Jordan Tarver: as these things accumulate, your trust just builds bigger and bigger. And as your trust is building, so as your confidence and as your confidence is building, and that's, that's gonna just play right into whatever challenge you're working on, whether that's going on a solar backpacking trip or starting as an agent.
[00:00:18] Jordan Tarver: If you, the more you trust yourself, the easier it is will to be, I guess the easier it is to move through the process. . And so everything for me comes back to building that trust with myself. And that's why everyone talks about it starts with the internal F first before the external. If it's not figured out in here, on the inside, in your heart, the external, the process of becoming an agent, getting outside your comfort zone, going, traveling, that's not gonna work.
[00:01:17] Ray Sjolseth: Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Agent Podcast. Today I'm here with my buddy Jordan Tarver, out of Seattle, Washington. Jordan, welcome to the show.
[00:01:25] Jordan Tarver: Thanks for having me. Excited to be here.
[00:01:28] Ray Sjolseth: So, Jordan, normally I would ask why real estate as we cater to real estate professionals, but in your case, it's a little bit different. You are a author and your book, you Deserve this shit, which is an amazing title. I wanna dive right into that.
[00:01:43] Jordan Tarver: Yeah, let's do it. All right.
[00:01:45] Jordan Tarver: So why does this book exist?
[00:01:48] Jordan Tarver: Two reasons.
[00:01:49] Jordan Tarver: The first reason is. I've done several years of tireless creative self-growth myself, and have done so much work to discover who I am at my core. And that was kind of like the inspiration of wanting to create something around that because I felt like I had lessons to share. And like the second part is to help the people that are kind of on that same journey looking for guidance.
[00:02:15] Jordan Tarver: And so it's like twofold of it exists because I did the work, but it also exists because I have like an innate desire and intention to help other people. So that leads into my second question, which is like, what inside of you, like where did it come from that needed this book? Right? Because you don't do something like this just because you're bored.
[00:02:39] Jordan Tarver: You do something like this for a significant purpose. Mm-hmm. . And you know, I've watched your talks, I've watched some interviews with you on YouTube and. Looking at what you're talking about, like this is deep shit, for lack of a better term, right? Yeah. So, mm-hmm. , like what inside of you needed this book?
[00:03:00] Jordan Tarver: Well, I think, I mean, one, it, it was a way for me to self reflect on what I've, I've been through, you know, it was an active way to me, really go deep on the experiences and the, the struggles and the, the challenges I face and extract more lessons for myself. But I also have understood or just come to understand, and if I am going through something or have gone through something in life, 100%, someone else is either going through that now or will go through that in the future.
[00:03:30] Jordan Tarver: And so just knowing that other people will have a similar struggle was kind of like the motivation to excavate all this really deep rooted advice and lessons because I'm certain people are struggling the same way I struggled. I love it. Have you ever taken any assessments such as like the Clifton Strengths finder or anything like that?
[00:03:53] Jordan Tarver: I've done the v i a character institute, I think it's called, they're character strength profile. It gives you like 24. So there's 24 character strengths in general that are split up into six categories. Got it. And then it ranks your, your, your five top character strengths, your, I think it's your
[00:04:13] Jordan Tarver: 13 middle strengths and then your six lesser strengths. And then what does is it guides you one on how can you incorporate your five top strengths into your daily life, which has an immediate impact on your wellbeing, your health, your happiness, your satisfaction. But then it also identifies lesser strengths if there are ones.
[00:04:34] Jordan Tarver: That you want to work to improve. And so that's really the, not the only assessment I've done, but it's the most recent one I've done. So do you find it accurate with Yeah. What you're doing and what your journey has been and how you've been able to develop through and create this book that you've been doing?
[00:04:52] Jordan Tarver: Yeah, for sure. And it, it's interesting, I've taken this twice now. One, the first time was handful of years ago, and the, the second time was just a month ago. I'm working on a new project right now to help people find their purpose. And this will be an ebook and a workbook. And part of that process is understanding your character strengths.
[00:05:11] Jordan Tarver: And because I'm such a person that likes to teach on personal experience, I didn't want to put this assessment into the, the, the workbook without me actually doing it and understanding how it works and how it, see how I, you know, see how this plays a role in my life. So , I took it again. And then it was interesting to compare the two and compare my five top strengths.
[00:05:32] Jordan Tarver: Mm-hmm. , you know, from, let's just call it a two year period from two years apart. And to see which ones had been consistent and like, which things made fluctuated a little bit. But it was like there wasn't much deviation in the the high level of what those five strengths really represented. And I think that at itself is me being just true to my core values throughout life.
[00:05:54] Jordan Tarver: Like it should. Once you start to become the best version of yourself and un and understand what you value most in life, I feel like your character strengths will in some capacity stay within the sa same realm, you know? And that's what I experienced. I love it. I want to get into a little bit of your, your history, mm-hmm.
[00:06:13] Jordan Tarver: what little bit that I know that's out there publicly from between the book and your, you know, YouTube podcast and all that kind of good stuff. Yeah. I wanna talk about the backpacking trip to London mm-hmm. . And one of the things that I heard you say was you landed in London and you felt like a switch flipped.
[00:06:32] Jordan Tarver: Mm-hmm. . Right. But it's my experience that you can feel like that, but ultimately you have to accept that and make a decision to accept that. Yeah. So, I don't know, can you share like what that experience was for you and how it's impacted what you're doing today? Yeah, of course. Do you mean the entire trip itself or kind of the moment of like realization of like a switch kinda Let's start with the moment and then go from there.
[00:07:00] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. Well I think like the , the easiest part about traveling somewhere overseas is you don't have an option to retreat back to safety burn the most. And so like, right. Yeah. So like, you know, I, I, I land in London and the only choice is to make the most of the situation. There is no. Oh, like, I'm feeling worried.
[00:07:19] Jordan Tarver: I feel unconfident, like I'm just gonna go back home and retreat to my comfort zone. But it was, not only did I put myself outside of my comfort zone, but I put myself in a place where I literally wasn't able to return back to it until I came home from the trip. And so it was that switch of like realizing like what opportunity I had at hand and what would happen if I really tried to make the most of the situation instead of kind of going back into my unconfident self-conscious patterns of behavior and take this as an opportunity to, to push my life forward and, and push myself as an individual forward.
[00:07:56] Jordan Tarver: And that's really kind of what the whole trip did for me. Although maybe in the moment with I was 21 at the time, in the moment, I didn't recognize the power of the trip and what it was going to provide me. But now, being 27 and looking back with wiser eyes, I'm able to kind of reflect on that trip in a different way than I had been when I was on the actual trip.
[00:08:23] Jordan Tarver: But even though I didn't know exactly the power of it while it was happening, that power still existed and it was eventually gonna manifest into my reality one way or another. And that's kind of what I've realized now being older, is how much it has changed for me. So I wanna tie this to real estate agents a little bit for all of our listeners out there.
[00:08:45] Ray Sjolseth: There are a lot of newer agents out there with limiting beliefs, which is where I think this book is relevant. You know, you deserve this shit, whatever that shit is. But also that there's a lot of newer agents that haven't made the decision to become an agent. , you know, they get into the business, they have this idea of what it's gonna be like.
[00:09:08] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. , and a lot of those ideas are, it's like a job, right? You get your license, you show up to a brokerage, and they're gonna tell you exactly what to do next, and they don't realize they're actually starting a business. So being in a position of empowering yourself to move through limiting beliefs and engage in your life to the point where you can make a decision, I don't know.
[00:09:32] Ray Sjolseth: Can you walk us through some of how you develop that mindset and that strength to be able to do that?
[00:09:38] Jordan Tarver: I think everything in life comes back to how much you trust yourself in general. Not just with one thing, but how much trust you have in faith within yourself to do something. unfamiliar outside your comfort zone, whatever you wanna call it.
[00:09:55] Jordan Tarver: And I think building trust actually comes from one, holding promises to yourself and being consistent with the promises. I feel like that every time you, you know, check off a box, that's a vote toward your confidence and your trust but also doing things outside your comfort zone. Every time you go outside your comfort zone and complete something, that's another check for you.
[00:10:19] Jordan Tarver: And so as these things accumulate, your trust just builds bigger and bigger. And as your trust is building, so as your confidence and as your confidence is building, and that's, that's gonna just play right into whatever challenge you're working on, whether that's going on a solar backpacking trip or starting as an agent.
[00:10:37] Jordan Tarver: If you, the more you trust yourself, the easier it is will to be, I guess the easier it is to move through the process. . And so everything for me comes back to building that trust with myself. And that's why everyone talks about it starts with the internal F first before the external. If it's not figured out in here, on the inside, in your heart, the external, the process of becoming an agent, getting outside your comfort zone, going, traveling, that's not gonna work.
[00:11:06] Jordan Tarver: And that's why it always starts within.
[00:11:08] Ray Sjolseth: So it's funny that you mentioned that, right? Because like me, I find myself sometimes when I am not in alignment mm-hmm. or I'm under duress or stress or whatever the situation is, whether it's with kids, financial, work, health. Mm-hmm. , other, that my first instinct because of how I grew up in this fight or flight mode in survival, for lack of a, a better term, that I always want to fix everything with action.
[00:11:39] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. , right. But it's unaligned action. It's not inspired action. And I find myself trying to work harder versus smarter and not making good decisions, just cuz I'm trying to do something to move it forward rather than regroup with myself and say, Hey, what is the next best logical step from where I actually am? How do you work through that process?
[00:12:05] Jordan Tarver: Well, I think you make a good point in general, even though you're taking a step forward, sometimes taking a step forward doesn't mean progress. Yeah. You know, and sometimes taking a step back, regrouping, reflecting is what creates the intentional line progress. And I think that's where a lot of people get it mixed up is our society thinks when you rest you're losing.
[00:12:27] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. Right. When you take a break Yeah. You, you're falling behind. People are gonna get more success because they're working and you're not. , but really it's those moments of rest and reflection and regrouping that create your next wave. But if you never take that time, you know that wave of progress or inspiration or motivation is either never gonna come or it's just gonna, you know, shrink the entire time so you can actually improve or prog progress more by kind of doing what you're saying, regrouping, asking yourself, kind of assessing the situation at hand, and instead of reacting and just doing something to react and respond, you're actually taking the time to ask yourself what is the best, the genuine, best next step for me to take.
[00:13:19] Ray Sjolseth: One of the things that I've tried to do is, this is gonna sound ridiculous, but , like, pretend I'm a slingshot. . Mm-hmm. , right? Where I need to actually retract back in order to, I like that propel forward and that's kind of helped me mentally, like be more forgiving or less abrasive with myself when I feel like I'm struggling.
[00:13:46] Ray Sjolseth: You know? It's like, you know, look dude, just seriously pull back for a minute. Take a deep breath. Yeah. And then let go, and I'll get further faster if I do that. Versus trying to climb over the wall or push the wall down, right? Yeah. Versus literally being able to fly over the wall. Like that's kind of how I think about it in my head.
[00:14:05] Jordan Tarver: I love that. I love that analogy. I think it's so true too. I think it's like the perfect way to explain that is just the fact that sometimes in order to go forward, you need to take a couple steps back, slow down, take that breath, regroup, and then trust yourself. That is gonna work. Because like you said, if you keep pushing forward, And like banging your head up against the wall of frustration and feeling stuck.
[00:14:32] Jordan Tarver: There is no way around or over it. Sometimes the way around is going backwards and fighting a new route, you know?
[00:14:39] Ray Sjolseth: Have you read this book You Squared by Price Pritchett? I haven't. I'll check that out. I'm gonna send you a copy. I'll message you. Cool. Thank you. I appreciate that. I have like 20 copies.
[00:14:50] Ray Sjolseth: This book is amazing. It's only like, it looks small. It's small, dude. Like I have, I think it's literally like 36 pages. Yeah, it's like 36 page. What's, what's the premise of it? The premise is, well, it's twofold. One is you have the ability to take a quantum leap and that incremental progress is, . Like it's not real.
[00:15:14] Ray Sjolseth: It doesn't have to be that way. It's just what society, teachers, parents, whatever have taught us to think, right? Mm-hmm. . So they've built this box around us mm-hmm. that we've been programmed. And in this instance, the way the book starts is Price Pritchett talks about he's sitting at this the Millcroft Inn somewhere up north and on the west coast and there's a fly like beating against a window trying to get out when 10 feet behind him is a wide open door.
[00:15:49] Ray Sjolseth: And he's talking about the struggle that this fly is going to die trying to get outside. Where if he just stopped and turned around and went the other way in the opposite direction, he could fly right out the door. Mm-hmm. .
[00:15:59] Jordan Tarver: That's beautiful.
[00:16:00] Ray Sjolseth: And it's the same thing like that we're talking about. I'm not gonna read it now cuz it's like two pages.
[00:16:07] Ray Sjolseth: Not that it's long, but Right, right. It's. The premise is so simple, but like we all do it. Mm-hmm. , you know, it's like trying to find your, your keys in your wallet when they're lost and you're frazzled. Right. Running around scatterbrained, trying to find them when they're literally right there underneath the book on your table.
[00:16:25] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. in your counter or whatever. So I always think that's interesting because we spend so much time abusing ourself versus just stepping back and regrouping.
[00:16:34] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. And I think that sometimes it may come because people are afraid to change or change direction. And if they've been doing something for so long that has now become a habit of their behavior going the opposite direction.
[00:16:50] Jordan Tarver: You know, that feels like they're going in the wrong direction. But as this story says, you know, the, the, the other direction, it might be the direction that is waiting for you to realize that. Is there there's another story similar to this From like hundreds of years ago in Africa, I forget what the cape is called for this specific story, but they were trying to get boats through this area, you know, in the ocean and they never could get through it.
[00:17:19] Jordan Tarver: Boats would always crash, hit rocks, all this stuff. It wasn't until they decided to go a new direction and instead of going straight kind of across the the coast, they went out and around like further out and they were able to wrap around whatever was kind of blocking that area. And that's just another perfect story of sometimes the way around your blocks is literally around your blocks and not through them, but I feel like we get so hard nosed on like wanting to just drive through it and like fight through the pain and fight through the frustration and just push through until like we meet resolve.
[00:17:57] Jordan Tarver: But you know, like 90% of the time it's not the way to go, you know? So that's just another story.
[00:18:04] Ray Sjolseth: Yeah. The next thing I want to get into is you're a car accident. Mm-hmm. , that was one hell of a story, man. Like your words that, you know, people should not have walked away from that unharmed. Yeah.
[00:18:20] Ray Sjolseth: Like, that really got to me for a whole bunch of different reasons. But one I'd like to, you know, talk about what you learned from that two. Mm-hmm. , I'd like to talk about the relationships with all of you involved in that accident and what that did to you as a group.
[00:18:39] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. That second question's interesting.
[00:18:41] Jordan Tarver: No one's ever asked that before. But yeah, when, when you're, I was. I believe I was 19 at the time. In college down in Orange County. We were coming back from an event and we were in a car filled car with all my friends. Another car of all of our friends was next to us, and then there was a big rig.
[00:19:02] Jordan Tarver: And what I speculate happened is the big rig switch lanes, which we know at switch lanes, but I think maybe our friend's car was in the blindside. And, and then he had to get outta the way, and then he clipped us and immediately we started fishtailing going like 85 miles per hour, you know, on an Orange County freeway.
[00:19:21] Jordan Tarver: Luckily it was at night. And I just, it was that in that moment where you realized the thing that you thought was never going to happen to you is actually happening right now, you know? A potentially life-threatening car accident. And so we fishtail fishtail. I, I literally whispered to myself, please don't die three times in a row under my breath, because it was that serious.
[00:19:43] Jordan Tarver: And our car slams on the side. We slide across all five lanes of the freeway. Not sure why there was no cars coming at that moment, which I think is another like killing thing about the experience because after the fact there was like a bunch of cars that came and then our buddy's car did two [00:20:00] full rolls and landed tire side up.
[00:20:03] Jordan Tarver: Both cars stopped before hitting the center divider by, you know, five feet. And while in the moment maybe I didn't realize what was happening to me on like an internal level on how it would affect me moving forward, kind of the same thing with my trip and it seems to be a repeated theme, is I like to reflect on things and, and understand why they happened and.
[00:20:26] Jordan Tarver: and what was it teaching me? Because I do believe that everything does have a positive side to it, even if it feels like a negative experience in the moment. So while a, a life-threatening car accident could, you know, ridden my life with fear of driving forever, I didn't let it do that to me. I chose to see it as a positive experience and, and extract a lesson that could change my life for the better moving forward.
[00:20:50] Jordan Tarver: And so this taught me how quickly, you know, I understand that we could die any moment. I already understood that, that just common knowledge to me. But it's hit, it hits different when it almost happens, you know, it strikes a different chord in your heart. And I realized how quickly it could all be taken away.
[00:21:09] Jordan Tarver: And that was one of the moments that really inspired me and part of the reason why I wrote this book, kind of going back to that question you asked earlier, it inspired me to just go on this like celebration of life. , like I had a second chance, and it was my intention to make the most of that chance.
[00:21:25] Jordan Tarver: And the way to do that was to celebrate my life. And the way I celebrate life is living a meaningful life prioritizing gratitude and kindness, enjoying every moment of friends and family because you really don't know when the last one's gonna be. And then also empowering other people to live a meaningful life of their own.
[00:21:43] Jordan Tarver: And that's kind of what sent me on this direction of this type of work was I saw how quickly it could be taken away. I want to celebrate every moment that I now had gifted back to me. And I also want other, help other people do the same thing. And kind of with the, the relationship of those people is that's an experience that will be a part of us forever and a very unique experience that doesn't happen to many people.
[00:22:09] Jordan Tarver: And so, although all of us have gone our sep, there's 10 of us. In this car, all friends have gone our separate directions and where we live and work and all that kind of stuff. There is still that common bond and knowledge of yo like, we went through this together and we survived. And I think it was even heightened, like in the moment, in the days after it was, we just felt this like connectivity between us from this event that happened.
[00:22:37] Jordan Tarver: I'm not sure how this event played a role in their lives individually. I've never actually had that conversation with them, which would be interesting to ask them. Mm-hmm. because it's had such a profound, you know, impact on the way I live and the way I help other people live. So that would be interesting.
[00:22:51] Jordan Tarver: But I think for the general part of that group is, you know, we'll always have that moment of memory of, of what went down on March 22nd, 2013.
[00:23:02] Ray Sjolseth: Yeah. I just feel like something of that magnitude. with a, a close-knit group would do one of two things, right. Either make you significantly closer mm-hmm. to the point where there's just a whole bunch more gratitude in general for so many things.
[00:23:21] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. or just scare the living shit out of you and nobody would ever drive with anybody again.
[00:23:27] Jordan Tarver: Yeah, I think the, the thing was with that situation is no one was doing anything unsafe right. At all.
[00:23:33] Ray Sjolseth: No. It was just a circumstance.
[00:23:35] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. It was just an accident. You know, it's, from my perspective, it seemed like there was a blind so spot thing happening and he did a quick move to get outta the way because the big league's so big it was gonna cut him off.
[00:23:46] Jordan Tarver: He was gonna hit him. So, you know, instinct swerve, we just happened to be right next to him when he swerved. And I actually had like a moment before the accident took place. Like a split second moment. I almost asked our driver just to slow down, no idea why. If he had slowed down, we wouldn't have been in the way of my friend swerving.
[00:24:09] Jordan Tarver: However, looking into the deeper re meaning and reasons of this thing, I think the reason why I got reluctant to let it out of my throat, you know, like that feeling you get when you wanna say something, but it just can't pass right here and it just gets stuffed down. Hesitation. Yeah. I think the reason I hesitated was because I was actually supposed to go through that so I could learn these lessons.
[00:24:32] Jordan Tarver: And if I didn't go through that, who knows, you know, if we'd be talking right now, right? Who knows if I would've written this book? Who knows if I would be writing another one? It's these moments that change the, the direction and, and organize what happens in our life. So that's an interesting part of the story for me to think about.
[00:24:50] Jordan Tarver: wondering what would've happened if I didn't say anything? Yeah, if it would've changed or maybe it wouldn't, but I was very aware during those, what felt like hours, but it was, you know, seconds how quickly it happened. But aware of what I was thinking, what I wanted to say, what I said out loud, I still remember all that kind of stuff.
[00:25:08] Jordan Tarver: And then you would think something like this would, like, for me at least, just cause a, lifelong fear of driving or big rigs. And while that kind of like persisted for a little bit, not driving, but being next to a big rig, sure. It hasn't really sustained itself. It'll come up when I'm driving, if I'm passing a big rig.
[00:25:31] Jordan Tarver: I like personally to kind of get by them quicker, more quickly. And it's, I think it's, it's not that I'm afraid that I'm gonna get hit, but now I'm. More aware that I could be in this guy's blind spot, you know? And so it's, I don't have any fear from that accident anymore. I've worked through a lot of that kind of stuff, but there are still little bits and pieces that do play their, you know, their part in, in the way I live.
[00:25:55] Ray Sjolseth: Well, thanks for sharing that, man. Like Yeah, you're welcome. I know, I always think circumstances like that provide us as humans a lot of depth if we take the time mm-hmm. to reflect and learn from them instead of just being in fear of the situation.
[00:26:10] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. Well, it's so easy just to stuff things down or push it under the rug because that requires no work, you know to that.
[00:26:17] Jordan Tarver: Yeah, I agree. But when you do that, like it's going to come up eventually in your life. Yeah. One way or another. It's, it's gonna revisit you. And the easiest way to heal something is when it's on the surface, you know, when it happens. So. I was lucky enough to kind of have that understanding so it didn't play this negative role in my life and have been lucky enough to find the reason and the, the positive of it in a way that has helped me.
[00:26:44] Ray Sjolseth: It's a beautiful thing, right? To be able to embrace that. Yeah, a hundred percent through. All right, let's move on to authorship a little bit. How has authorship improved your communication and do you intentionally work towards being better because of authorship, if that makes sense?
[00:27:08] Jordan Tarver: Well, first off, communication is one of my top core values in life, so I think. Fitting that I'm using words in general. Mm-hmm. to express myself and you. Well, let's take another step back. I know I'm here to use my voice. I'm also a singer and a musician. I do these speaking engagements, public speaking, and so communicating is very core to my existence, you know, and so I think becoming an author was an extension of that value.
[00:27:35] Jordan Tarver: How can I communicate more of my message to other people? I don't think authorship is a thing that inspires me to be better. I think I'm inspired to be better because I know, kind of going back to that story, I, I know that I'm here for a limited amount of time, and I wanna make the most of the time.
[00:27:54] Jordan Tarver: But also I think personal growth work or self-growth, [00:28:00] whatever you wanna call it, it's not just crucial for yourself, but it's also crucial for the people around you. And so I want to be a better person for my fiance. I wanna be a better person for my parents and siblings and my in-laws. And I wanna be a better person for the people I meet right here, you and I, daily basis.
[00:28:19] Jordan Tarver: I wanna be a better person for my community. It's not just for me. And I think that's a really key thing to remember in any kind of growth period, whether it's personal growth or becoming a better agent, for example, you're not becoming a better agent for yourself. You're becoming a better agent for your clients, so you can serve them.
[00:28:39] Jordan Tarver: Exactly. So now you have a better means of serving and the way you impact the people around you doesn't stop at that person. And it's similar to the way you speak to people. You may say something to someone, a really kind comment. and that can inspire them to do something and that can inspire them to do something.
[00:29:00] Jordan Tarver: So if you show up a, be as a better person or a better agent and serve the people around you better, that may give them a better sense of gratitude and feeling for the life they're living and the people they're interacting with. And then encourage them to do something. And now you're seeing this ripple effect of what happens when you work on yourself.
[00:29:19] Jordan Tarver: So I think the inspiration is to be able to serve better in the world, to be honest. Cuz I think like the purpose of life at the very, very bare minimum is to experience life while serving others and representing your core values. And if you can do those things like experience life, cuz we ha we're, we're, we have this amazing world around us with an environment.
[00:29:48] Jordan Tarver: So unfamiliar, yet familiar, and we get to go and play in it and understand its inner workings and it, and I think we forget that we live in this natural world because of society and how it's kind of built it out. And [00:30:00] so there's a lot of exciting things to experience that are just a part of the world.
[00:30:02] Jordan Tarver: And I think that's important during our time here to actually experience, experience life as it is and all the things that make up life. And also, like we're talking about serving others, serving others. And it just without a doubt provides you with a sense of meaning and gratitude. That's what you get in return.
[00:30:21] Jordan Tarver: You know, you, you give the service and you receive the feeling of, of gratitude, and you should do all of that while representing what you value most in life. What's most important to you? So, for example, communication is really important to me. So in the way I serve people, I'm really just on top of my communication game cuz it's important to me.
[00:30:43] Jordan Tarver: in general. It gives me a lot of value if I know I'm communicating what I want to communicate, whether it's a podcast or a text message, or an email or a phone call, or a FaceTime. Staying in touch and communicating with people is really important to me. And so I think if you do those three things like that, you'll just be able to feel more fulfilled and satisfied within life.
[00:31:03] Ray Sjolseth: I love that. I think it's beautiful. I think it's a beautiful way to live too, right? Mm-hmm. , be more receptive. Mm-hmm. , yeah. Be, be open and be willing to work on yourself. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:15] Jordan Tarver: And I think like working on yourself can be fun, you know? It doesn't have to be this like, oh shit, I gotta like do all this personal growth work.
[00:31:23] Jordan Tarver: And yeah. I think there is a lot of beauty in it because you, like you, you get, if you're open in, in, in that kind of receiving mindset, you get so much back from it. And I think a lot of people. in life are just so frustrated and stuck, and they lack clarity and direction, and they just aren't genuinely happy or satisfied or fulfilled with how they're living.
[00:31:48] Jordan Tarver: And I think a lot of those feelings of happiness and fulfillment and satisfaction, like you get that when you work on yourself, because I, when you see yourself grow as an individual, that's a rewarding experience in itself. So I think personal growth work doesn't need to be seen as an assignment, let's put it that way.
[00:32:08] Ray Sjolseth: Yeah. And a lot of people are stuck in defense mode instead of playing offense, right? Mm-hmm. . So if you're willing to be honest and reflect and realize you're human and you're not perfect, and we all, mm-hmm. have things wrong with us, things we want to improve while also having things we like and that we're proud of, but if you're open to that conversation with yourself, , the only thing you can do is be better.
[00:32:35] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. . And that's a beautiful place to be.
[00:32:38] Jordan Tarver: I a hundred percent agree with that. I think, I think we're all broken in one way or another. A hundred percent man. And I think owning up to that is very powerful. And that's kind of what you're saying is yeah, giving yourself the permission to be okay with being imperfect is pretty life-changing.
[00:32:56] Jordan Tarver: And then you start to realize imperfections, they're not a bad thing. You know, it's a part of being human. But it gives you something to improve on, to feel, try to like do some work around so you feel good about that area, that maybe you felt a little bit more weak and you can actually improve these weaknesses and imperfections up so they're not how they originally felt when you first identified them.
[00:33:19] Ray Sjolseth: I love it, Jordan. I think that what we've talked about has given people a great inside. Look at to what your book is actually about, you know? Mm-hmm. , you deserve this shit. Mm-hmm. . Where, so a I want to talk about where people can find you and where they can get the book, but then I have a list of questions and these questions, you know, I listened to Brendan Bouchard, Lewis House Jay Shetty.
[00:33:44] Ray Sjolseth: Mm-hmm. , ed Mylet, all these different guys. Yeah. And so I take their questions and I think about them, and I make my own version of some of them, right? So I want to throw some of these at you. Cool. But first and foremost, where can people find you? And by the book
[00:33:56] Jordan Tarver: TikTok and Instagram is at Jordan Tarver. You can also visit my website, jordantarver.com. You can sign up for my newsletter. The book is on Amazon. You can either go straight to Amazon or you can go to my website. Also through my TikTok and Instagram profiles, there's the link and Bio has a bunch of buttons that will direct you to all the things that you're looking for. So Yeah. Come say what up.
[00:34:17] Ray Sjolseth: All right, let's talk about a couple things. If you could put only one law in place, what would it be?
[00:34:23] Jordan Tarver: Kindness.
[00:34:24] Ray Sjolseth: I love it. Quick to the answer too. Been thought about .
[00:34:29] Ray Sjolseth: What is your must read book?
[00:34:31] Jordan Tarver: I'm looking back at my, I mean, one book that I recommend to everyone is The Compound Effect. It's, it's one of the earliest books I've read. It's a fantastic book. Yeah. And it's so simple, but it teaches you a very profound lesson in life. And I think that's something that, people get a lot from both in their personal life, but also it teaches you a lot about business. So I think it's a good like catch. Mm-hmm. . It's a good catchall of, of Yeah. Just a, a good topic.
[00:34:58] Ray Sjolseth: What's the best advice you've ever received?
[00:35:00] Jordan Tarver: Indirectly, I received there's no such thing as this is how it's done, and I think that gives you permission to create your own wave.
[00:35:09] Ray Sjolseth: What's the worst advice you've ever been given?
[00:35:12] Jordan Tarver: Do it this way. , the opposite of it.
[00:35:15] Ray Sjolseth: I love it. Right. Yeah. That's great. Okay, the last and final question. Where's your emotional home and how do you get back there if you're lost?
[00:35:25] Jordan Tarver: What do, describe emotional home a little bit.
[00:35:28] Ray Sjolseth: How do you get back to neutral? Does that make.
[00:35:32] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. Do you mean like coming off a high or coming off a low? Yeah. And how it, yeah. One really big thing in my life is nature. I actually came up as a travel photographer, so before I did any of the self-improvement work, if you go back on my Instagram, like four years ago as a travel inspo page, I only used to share, you know, outdoor photography.
[00:35:55] Jordan Tarver: So nature has been rooted in my existence. I mean, even, I grew up camping with my family, so I've been camping since I was, the day I was born. And it still is, it plays that same role to this day. And I, I hold a very high importance of it. And it just is, and it, I do it for pure joy. I don't do photography anymore for money.
[00:36:10] Jordan Tarver: I'd do it purely for joy and passion and just even going out in nature, like on a trail. It just, it just centers myself. Yeah. And it just brings me back to that neutral state because it reconnects me back to the thing about society building out na nature. It reconnects me to the, the earth, like the, the true earth and soil, like, as simple as that sounds, and as silly as it may sound for some people, like going out and like being in the trees and touching the soil and like seeing a waterfall brings you back to the present moment that we are just on this planet of nature.
[00:36:46] Jordan Tarver: And if I can get into nature more often, luckily I live in the Pacific Northwest, that's very easy for me. Yeah. It doesn't take going very far to be in nature. Even our neighborhood, you know, it's just like there's trees and plants and it's surrounding us. If I can do that more often, I, I feel more grounded and present within my life.
[00:37:05] Jordan Tarver: And so, like, when I'm not feeling grounded, or if I'm having a crazy week, or if I'm feeling uninspired, I feel like nature is like a mental shower for me, and that is really like kind of something I've leaned, leaned into more and more as I get older.
[00:37:22] Ray Sjolseth: I love it. It's the like literal sense of being grounded.
[00:37:26] Jordan Tarver: Yeah. I love it. Good touch to the earth.
[00:37:28] Ray Sjolseth: Yeah. Jordan, this has been awesome man. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story, sharing your book. Guys, go buy the book. I cannot recommend it enough. It's a good place to dissect yourself.
[00:37:40] Jordan Tarver: Thanks for having me. It was a really fun conversation. I really appreciate it.
[00:37:42] Ray Sjolseth: Yeah. Thanks buddy.
